my experience with moving out

About two months ago, I moved out.

I now live 250km away from my hometown, my friends, my family, my cat. But honestly? It was and continues to be one of the best, if not the best, decision I have ever made. But let's start at the beginning:

For me, it has always been clear that I want to move out as soon as possible because the relationship I have with my family can only be described as catastrophic. Back in my hometown, I lived in a house with my mum, my stepdad, my little sister, who is ten years younger than me, and our two cats named Tequila and Amy. My sister and I get along very well - we played together a lot, went to playgrounds (mostly when she was younger, though) and we also share a passion for reading. It was very common for us to lay in one of our bed on a sunday, cuddle with our cats and just read quietly alongside each other. My sister was the good part about living at home. My stepdad wasn't. He's an abusive asshole and also the reason I didn't get along with my mum for 99% for the time. So at the early age of nine, I started to cross off day after day, week after week, year after year until I would finally move out.

I had sent out applications to univeristies while I was in the middle of graduating (shoutout to a friend of mine who skyped with me for three to four hours three days in a row to help me!) and desperatly (and anxiously) awaited the replies. To be honest, it wasn't quite as epic as in the American movies where they get home from school, see the letter on the floor and freak out completely, but I did jump up and down and screamed out of joy as I got the news that I had gotten into the univeristy I wanted to. So right after finishing school, I got a job to save up a bit of money, e.g. for renting a van for the move. I also started looking at apartments. Which is not an easy task, let me tell you. But eventually people started to write me back and I made appointments to look at some flats. I took the train and, after three ours of travel, I arrived. I was so excited and so unbelievably happy! And while two of those flats turned out to be not for me, I had it narrowed down to two and ended up also getting the flat I wanted!! So everything was to be going fine ("Take that anxiety!"); until I was kicked out at home. About a month before moving out, I had no roof over my head.. Luckily, my friends helped me out. They all let me stay with them without even blinking even though they knew it would interrupt their daily life and would eventually get exhausting to be around each other for so long without getting a break. But we made it through that; after a few days I would switch to another friend and so on.

And then the day was finally here. The day I'd been awaiting for almost ten years. Ten very long and sucky years. But, as clichee as it may sound, while moving all my stuff into the rented van, everything was okay. It was okay that I hadn't seen my sister in a month. It was okay that I hadn't sen my cat in a month. I was okay that I was now gonna leave them for good. Because it meant a new start. A new beginning. A new chapter in which I finally got to hold the pen myself and didn't have it controlled my my mum, my abusive stepdad or the people who bullied me back in school. It was fully mine.

The drive to my new hometown was very long and full of traffic jam due to what felt like a million accidents but that didn't bother me whatsoever. I was too happy to get way from it all. Upon (finally) arriving, mytwo helpers (shoutout to mika's and my dad) and I first had to dismantle the furniture that was already in my new room. And then the actual moving boxes began. As I am a very passionate reader, I own a lot of books and when in moving boxes, books are heavy as fuck. The van had also had all of my stuff in it as nothing was allowed to stay at my old home. Long story short, it took us about six hours to clean the room out, get all my stuff up to the flat and rebuild my furniture. It went fine; none of my furniture has dents (which is a wonder). After everybody had left, I started unpacking and that was when it hit me: I was in a town I only knew from the strolls I took when I was looking at apartments, I didn't know anybody besides my roommates (who I had only talked to once in person and once over WhatsApp) and I didn't know anything about how uni was gonna be. But again my friends pitched in and helped me overcome this (#ISG). So by the end of the weekend; I was done unpacking and quite happy again.

Now, when you move out, you have to organise a lot of stuff: finding a new place, packing your stuff and furniture, give notice to all your insurances and doctors, friends and family... basically everyone and every offical institution you can think of. And once you've actually moved, you have to register again. Been there, done that - one of my two roommates took me on a looong walk and showed me around. Everything else I resolved with the help of Google. Fun fact: walking around a town you now officially live in with Google Maps open feels pretty fucking weird. Also, I have never used Skype more in my life then in the first few days here. It was really reassuring to talk to my friends and family (the part I actually get along with) so often and them telling me how well I was doing. Generally, I'm just really thankful for all the support I got during this weird time.

By now, uni has started and it's going fine. I've made some friends, I'm not too behind on my work load and I'm part of a club. My roommates (two boys) and I get along great - we cook together, we watch shows together and generally have a good time around each other which is great!

Conlusion: If I look back on the past three months, I have felt both the worst and the happiest I have EVER felt. Moving out is scary as hell and also really difficult (being anxious about, organising, leaving a city you know like your backpocket and all the memories attatched to it, leaving your friends) but if you, too, never really feel comfortable at home and don't get along with your family, it will be the best thing ever; regardless of how hard it may be.

Stay strong!

Kat xx

P.S.: Yes, you guessed it - I now live near mika's old hometown.